I Know I Am Obese; Where Do I Begin??
This is the question I am most often asked. My patients come dragging in reluctantly, sent to Obesity Clinic by the primary care doctor or their own frustration and failing health. They are certain they will be given a lecture and a diet or told to go have surgery. They are surprised when they leave my office with directions to eat chocolate, take these supplements, get some more rest, and stop working out so hard.
"WRONG" says the medical world and the diet industry and every magazine you read. Restrict your diet! Quit eating things you crave! Work out harder! No pain, no gain! YOU MUST SUFFER!!!
Puhleeze. As if obese people aren’t already suffering. Apparently all those skinny trainers and nutritionists and doctors think we were having a great time during those lonely nights by the refrigerator or trying to run in gym class with our thighs chafing.
I have news for you if you are obese. You have suffered enough. You have struggled enough. It isn’t difficult to lose weight, it’s just different than what you have been told.
By the time a person has become obese, they have an ailing body, even if there are no visible end-stage diseases such as diabetes or hypertension. Pain, inflammation, changes in metabolism, nutritional deficiencies, altered brain chemistry. It’s not fun to be morbidly obese. It hurts physically and emotionally.
If you push a broken body (or a broken car) too hard, it breaks down further. To your body, exercising and nearly starving feels like incredible stress. So does divorce, bankruptcy, unemployment, problems with your kids, or working two jobs. Your brain doesn’t make a distinction between one bad stressor and another bad stressor. To your million-year old brain, bad stress means the famine is coming. (Remember that one? 7 lean years?) "OMG,” says your brain to each one of your body’s many trillion cells, ”We’re starving to death…HOLD ON TO OUR FAT!!! We need it!"
Ever see the program where the fat people stop losing weight as the workouts get harder, until they go home, relax and eat? It’s called stress relief.
Welcome to the No-Stress Zone. Here’s where you start, and this is the first of many blogs that will help.
You start by determining what very small change in your food you can make today that will not send your brain into a starvation frenzy. If you drink 5 sodas a day, can you drink 4 and one water? If you skip breakfast and binge every night, could you move a little food earlier in the day? My first change was drinking coffee instead of lattes. And if I really wanted a latte, I would have one.
Next, what movement can you do that WILL NOT HURT?? Can you stretch a little in your chair? Can you walk a little? I started out cycling my legs in the bathtub – it was the only place I didn’t have pain.
Finally, what joyful or relaxing moment can you treat yourself to today? When’s the last time you heard music you loved, or called someone you care about? Or took 10 minutes to read something beautiful?
And when you wake up tomorrow, do this again. A little further. A little longer. And again the next day, and the next.
That’s it.
That’s the secret to losing weight with obesity.
Small, easy, sequential changes that add up over time. And give your body and your mind a chance to heal with each small adjustment. From my husband who lost over 100 lbs: “Tell them this is the first of many small changes they’ll make, and they’ll be surprised how easily they rack up.”
Now that didn’t hurt, did it?
Baby steps is right! It is OK to be gentle with yourself so that the changes will stick. It is also OK to take two steps forward and one back!
The last two check-ups with my doctor I discussed my weight, and her final recommendation was check out lap band or gastric bypass surgery. She referred me to the seminars for these procedures, and I would not go. My final stand was that I have not been kind to my body, resulting in excess weight; alteration of my body to create a dysfunctional digestive system would only be more unkindness.
Surgery can be a wonderful tool, but it’s not for everybody, and it’s not foolproof. About 1/3 of patients gain back weight or develop secondary addiction. It’s also an option you can have at any time in your weight loss journey, so you don’t have to make a final decision about it. I chose not to have surgery until I figured out what was causing the weight gain. After that, I didn’t need the surgery.
Your brain will guide you toward what your body needs about every two hours. The answer is often not food – it may be rest, fresh air, relaxation, movement, laughter. You might simply be thirsty or hot or cold. It may be food, in which case look for the most specific ingredient. If you are craving nuts, is it the nuts? the salt? the oil? And give your brain what it wants to balance your mood and energy. But nothing more. And expect another signal in about 2 hours while you’re awake. If you go too long, you will start grabbing counterfeit energy in the form of junk food because your brain will start to scream.
It’s actually kind of fun once you get the hang of it. I’m still trying to keep up with the right shopping list! LOL!
I just finished the book, marking the first time I have highlighted and bookmarked anything on my Kindle yet! there were too many things I want to re-visit while learning. Sara, your ideas of ditching torture and deprivation normally prescribed are radical and put me in mind of Adelle Davis. She, too, was a proponent of healing your body first and her “food plan” was radical in the amount of food on it, good, natural food, not processed food, yet people lost weight eating that much because they were eating what their bodies needed. After reading OFTH, my goals have changed to working on healing my mind, spirit and body the natural, healthy way instead of making weight-loss my number one goal! No, I’m not looking at this as an opportunity to eat more, but to be mindful of what I’m putting into my body. thanks!
Thanks for your comment! I hadn’t thought of Adelle Davis, she was a pioneer in natural nutrition, but she died youngish of cancer, so all of her information fell off the radar. It was good information about how food processing depletes essential nutrients. My best piece of advice that I give daily is to make only changes that feel comfortable, and after you get used to that one, make another comfortable change. Good eating!